Monday, December 28, 2009

and so i'll fire up some incense,
and let the vinyl spin.
Found my slippers...
I could really make use of this time if I had something productive to do..

For now I'll waste the night away,
just thinking..
For once I wish I could sleep.
What is it that doesn't turn off?
This ability to shutdown ones body, how can I obtain it?
Why is it so easy for others to just drift off into dreams?
Why must I rely on pills to obtain this biological function at a reasonable time?

I dream of being able to sleep in minutes.....ironic
And how can I lose a slipper that quickly?

I think I'm insane.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

I enjoy reflecting. Thinking about the past, present, future. I might do it too much, I don't really know.
The earth is fun to think can't even comprehend the universe in its entirety. Mass space, connected.
I only have one life, I must cherish it.
I like you...a lot
I like this...a lot

You exceed everything i've seen in any other girl. By ohso much.
Simply're an amazing person

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Yo, in a hundred years from now
Everyone who's living on this planet will be dead
So it's inconsequential really
All the shit that you talk
All the bullshit that you stand for
It's more important what, what your ready to build
What you're ready to pass down to your children
What you're ready to create
You better fucking remember that
When you challenge a mother fucker like me
Remember, I'm the dominant species

I'm stuck inside the future and life is chaotic
The government is psychotically racist and robotic
The matrix of entrapment is socio-economic
Erotic conspiracy theory becomes reality
Life is war, and every day's a battle to me
I'm on the brink of insanity, between extreme intelligence and split personalities
But I elevate to the point of reversing gravity
Revolutionary conceptuality spitting out of me
Even the dead people in my family tell me they proud of me
Stupidity's not allowed by me
'cause I don't got time to play
I'm the black whole lyricist that'll take your shine away
Darkness at any time of day
I'm the Technique and your nobody so what you trying to say
Stellar density becomes your physical alignment
1.8 billion tons per square inch confinement

Yo, yo, yo, I drop knowledge so heavy it leaves the world unbalanced
Exterminate the spiritual force of all that challenge
I'm the lyrical apocalypse that crumbles the granite
Replacing you as the dominant species on the planet

Yo, yo, lyrically I'm infinite like possibilities
But you don't have the capability like infertility
'cause opening your mouth to question my validity
Is like trying to contradict the theory of relativity
When I spit is the epitome of heavy artillery
My enemies are obsessed with me like the bitch in Misery
But break out like father running form responsibility
Every time I step and abuse the mic with versatility
I balance humility, with brutal instinct
I'll make your whole cypher look like those crackers from N'Sync
And I don't care about your link, or your luxury car
I shed light with more magnitude than all of the stars
My breyon talk pick thick
So don't ever talk shit
And remember something nigga, while you rave and rant
A roach can live for nine days without its head but you can't

I'm explicit like video tapes of conjugal visits
Some niggaz are too stupid to understand it like astrophysics
Technique is exquisite
I'll make your thoughts a victory
Get pessimistic with the quickness
If you think that I will just become another statistic with anything but success
When I bless the mic as I spit this
Specifically prolific with coprocessor coma type sickness
My style is like a ten year old child with a slit wrist, too much reality
For the fucking hit list
I got a Black Panther mentality with a spick fist
So you can get dissed
Even if you're locally gold, vocally bold, or globally
Multi-platinum sold
I'm emotionally cold, disciplined, and ready to kill
Like spirits in the same room with you, I'm giving you chills
I drop knowledge while these mother fuckers clumsily spill
And I drop it so heavy, it leaves the world unbalanced
Exterminate the spiritual force of all that challenge
I'm the lyrically apocalypse that crumbles the granite
Replacing you as the dominant species on the planet
lalalalalala what to dooooo.
talk to youuuuuuuuu.

nahhhh b, im stuck in my hizzle in carlizzle fo shizzle there aint no frizzles to mizzle so i gotta sizzle in the hizzle while my frizzles chizzle in waterdizzle.


Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I'm without words at the moment.

Monday, December 21, 2009

what are you fuckers looking at?

I'll be honest, there are very few people in my life that I care deeply for. Do I wish bad things upon the others? No, but most don't deserve my respect.
The few people that I do care for aka my family and very close friends, I would do anything for them, but lets be honest...the majority of people out there are assholes.

You think you know me? You haven't even scratched the surface, so don't run your mouth telling me how my problems are less significant, you don't know what I've been through. Keep in mind I'm not saying that I have had the worst life or that I haven't been blessed. What I am saying is that there are events.....memories, that have changed me and made me into who I am today. If you don't like who I am you can shove it up your ass because I don't give a fuck what you think. I am who I am. Deal with it.

m-m-m-mary jane

My choice is what I choose to do,
And if I'm causing no harm, it shouldn't bother you.

Your choice is who you choose to be,
And if you're causin' no harm, then you're alright with me.

Herb the gift from the earth,
And what's from the earth is of the greatest worth.

So before you knock it try it first,
Oh, you'll see it's a blessing and not a curse.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

you dodged that bullet, but believe me, that shot's gonna get yeh.
new fucking house, how weird!
I won't lie though, I am in love with this house!

Might I add, these feelings aren't going away?
Don't know how long I can last without acting.

Fuck you essay.

Monday, December 14, 2009

there is no doubt you're in my heart now

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Surprise, Surprise

You don't even know what's coming, but i do.
You'll know how i felt and for that, i'm sorry.
Somehow 'I told you so' just won't cut it this time though.
Shoulda listened to me when you had the chance.
The worst part is that it's almost entirely your fault.
Surprising this didn't come about sooner, but it will come soon.
Good Luck.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

If Winter Ends

I dreamt of a fever,
one that would cure me of this cold winter set heart,
with heat to melt these frozen tears, and burned with reasons
as to carry on.
Into these twisted months I plunge without a light to follow
but I swear that I would follow anything,
just get me out of here.
And you get six months to adapt,
and you get two more to leave town.
and in the event that you do adapt, we still might not want you around.
But I fell for the promise of a life with a purpose,
but I know that that's impossible now.
And so I drink to stay warm,
and to kill selected memories,
cause I just can’t think anymore about that or about her tonight.
and I give myself three days to feel better,
or else I swear I'll drive right off a fucking cliff,
cause if I can’t learn to make myself feel better,
how can I expect anyone else to give a shit?
and I scream for the sunlight or car to take me anywhere,
just get me past this dead and eternal snow,
cause I swear that I'm dying, slowly but its happening,
and if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere,
just take me there,
just take me there,
just take me there,
and say and lie to me and say,
and lie to me and say,
it’s gonna be alright,
it's gonna be alright,
Yeah, you worry too much kid,
it's gonna be alright.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

hold your tongue

This can't be said, this can't be done.
Fight it. Now is not the time.
Explosion imminent.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Running in Circles

I'm lost, where is my home?
Four walls surround me,
Chemically produced barriers,
Shut out nature,
Wires electrify and bring 'life',
Inhale dirty air,
I don't want to breath your air,
You've tainted it,
Mass production eats my lungs,
My body can't handle the destruction,
I reject your air,
I reject your ideals,
I reject your perfect world,
This is my last stand.

Sunday, December 6, 2009


cathatmat dooooooooog.
we need to stop this, this can't go on, we need to end this, this won't stop, THIS WON'T STOP.

broken in a million pieces, hung up by a limb, we don't see what's happening...YOU do


if a dog ate a sandwich, does that make it human?

we are animals. pure,raw,vicious,RAGE. do what you need to fulfill your animalistic needs.



Saturday, December 5, 2009

Cruise Control

I will never want to date you while I can learn to hate you.
If you somehow learn to love me, well, that's just my luck.
I would never care if you only wanted my friendship,
but somehow you're disappointed that I'm not a slut.
I don't want to fuck you.
I don't want to fuck you.
I don't want to fuck you, so fuck you.
In my mind there is no doubt that you've been in
and out of many different backseats, many times before.
I can always see your defeat when I won't leave the front seat.
And it seems your disappointed that I'm not a whore.
I don't want to fuck you.
I don't want to fuck you.
I don't want to fuck you, so fuck you.
I don't want to fuck you.
I don't want to fuck you.
I don't want to fuck you.
I don't want to fuck you.
I don't want to fuck you.
I don't want to fuck you, so fuck you.
I don't want to fuck you.
I don't want to fuck you.
I don't want to fuck you, so fuck you.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

through the fog this will all become clear,
you make a minute last a year.

time is objective deceiving us all
enemies can make us crawl.

now a thought just came to mind,
could you and me fall behind?

lets break from the group,
this ever constant grinding loop.

now i have just one digression,
which leaves me with this complex question.

can you take the leap,
wake me from this eternal sleep.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The anticipation is killing me!
Time, speed up!

Monday, November 30, 2009

I forgot how much fun the hunt was!
Very mysterious.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Give it up, it's not going to work,
let me show you where you could be.

I'm dying to tell you,
I need your touch, your body, your soul.

I can't help it, my heart is screaming,

Monday, November 23, 2009

I haven't had this feeling in so long, so fucking long.
I'm finally being myself, not what i think you want or what anybody else wants.

Hello Kevin, it's nice to see you again.
We welcome you with open arms and smiling faces.
Make yourself comfortable sir, you're going to be here for quite some time.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


could you please get over yourself!
i guess you think i still want you back after all this, except i see clearly now.
i have zero desire to be with you, sorry to burst your ego my friend.

i go shopping and now you think i wanna try and be like him?
i'm trying to present myself well for OTHER girls, not you.
so if you could stop being so inlove yourself, that would be wonderful.

and apparently i'm not the only one who is seeing this either.
stop staring at the ceiling, get that nose down to normal level.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

get a grip brother!

It has taken me some time now, but I'm starting to realize, we were too different for each other.
I don't know if you ever saw who I truly am.I was myself, but at the same time, i never could just be myself without having to worry what you would say, and that's just not right.

I feel like an animal that was taken out its natural habitat and stuck in a zoo that tried to mimic my home.
I'm out of that cage now, you released me back into the wild.
This ain't African Lion Safari either, you can't just drive-by.
This is the mother fucking jungle girl, there's no telling what will happen out here.
Time to jump back into the food chain, and my oh my am i hungry.
Lets see what I can sink my teeth into next.
Come for a ride, we're going to travel through time. I'll set the timer, craaaaaaank, 4 months in the past. Hey look what was written, it's so similar to your thoughts now! He's perfect, he's everything a guy should be. Isn't it strange how the mind works? Whoawhoawhoa, who said anything about the mind, we're talking about the heart here! Uh oh...we have a problem then. I can't find yours! You gave it away? I don't understand, how did the transaction go through so quickly! You should come with a warning: I will leave you broken, I will rip out your heart. Now to be honest, this does make sense, it fits your personality, maybe i should have seen it coming. Always trying to outdo yourself, trying to be the best, nothing is ever really good enough. Now don't get me wrong, I admired all of those things in you. It made you one of the really special girls. The problem is you thought it would be a good idea to apply the same techniques with your heart. You found someone that you thought was better, an upgrade, if you will;) well now it makes sense you would jump on this so quickly, you are quite driven, I'll give you that.
Okay, time to come back to the present. Now I hope he realizes what you're capable of because who knows, maybe someone better will come along and you'll get up and walk away again.
yuckyuckyuck that makes me feel sick.

why do i procrastinate so much? i don't even understand myself at all.

on a side note, i'm feeling happy? even though tonight is gonna be like the worst night and i have to stay up all night doing homework, i'm somehow happy.

i wanna try new things, meet new people, travel, LIVE.
on my own or with someone else, i will live.

one day at a time,
the walls came tumbling down,
i was sitting happily in the front row, waiting patiently

you thought that the battle could not be won,
an impossibility of the heart.

the past laid the foundation for these thoughts,
family, boys, friends.

experience gave you little trust,
the similarities were striking.

could it be, had i found her?
do i invest or walk away?

you let me in,
you did the unthinkable.

but to let me out, not for you...for him
i still don't believe it.

that was supposed to be a thought in this chaotic mind,
nothing but a troubled thought from a troubled mind.

but who knew it could be reality,
you left me.

all i have now is pictures and posts.
things to look back on, not forward to.

i wish you could give me the future i so desire.
i wish you could give me your heart.

Don't Call Me Peanut

Drink up beautiful;
I spiked your cup with angst, and a heart attack.
I've got so much trapped and it's all because of you.
So i figured you might like some back;

And when I see her I'll tell her whats been on my mind,
All these sleepless nights, she'll recite her excuses,
Put my tail between these legs of mine;
Like i do all the time

Can't live my life;
Knowing you'll be in his arms, each time I blink my eyes;
Know what goes on behind my back; every night.
Afraid I'll never leave; afraid I'll never know whats good for me

And when I see her I'll tell her whats been on my mind,
All these sleepless nights, she'll recite her excuses,
Put my tail between these legs of mine;
Like i do all the time

And now you say that; you say you love me.
Well i may have your heart, he has your body
And now you swear that; you're being honest,
But you're not honest, you never could be

And when I see her I'll tell her whats been on my mind,
All these sleepless nights, she'll recite her excuses,
Put my tail between these legs of mine;
Like i do all the time

Sunday, November 15, 2009

okokok, you've had the time. now comes the get the fuck over it, she wasn't worth it stage.
i thought i could be nice about it all, but then i realized, you don't deserve it.
you don't deserve shit from me.
i can't change what's going to happen in the future, and quite frankly i'm happy that i found out now.
i really did think you were different, but this has been my biggest misjudgement of character i've ever had.
you were right about one thing
trust doesn't really exist, it is merely an imaginative concept. you really can't trust anybody, cause they'll turn around and fuck you over for something better in a heartbeat.
so i thankyou for helping me learn that lesson.
but i must look at the bright side, there's around 3 billion other females in the world, so it's time to go find one who gives a shit, OR just chill and live my life how i wanna live it, without having to report to someone.
I'm ready to live.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Everyone told me you weren't worth it, they said you'll find someone better, someone who will treat you right. But all i could think was that they had no idea, they didn't know you like i did. I couldn't get that thought out of my head...that is until i learned you have no class. I'm not telling you how to live your life, I never wanted to do that, your life is yours. The fact is it shocks me you could move on so fast, did what we have mean anything to you? Are you just that selfish that you're only thinking about what you want most? People are starting to make more and more sense.

Friday, November 13, 2009

do you know what the word respect means?
you make me fucking sick.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

you took my heart and tore it to pieces,
you have no idea the hurt you caused.

but listen, i'm not gonna be hung up on this,
i'll do just fine without you.

i can feel myself becoming a better person already,
i'll live and learn through this lesson.

the trust i had in you is gone,
this is me telling you, i'm moving on.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


you say my body paints a picture,
only i have no brush in hand.

i'm trying to understand you,
but your words only make things more twisted.

do you want more time for homework,
or just less time with me?

am i doing something wrong?
please, i need to know.

my intentions are not to hurt you,
they are to love you.

lately it seems you don't want me around very often,
is it stress or regret?

Sunday, November 8, 2009

I want to explode.

Jealous? Not quite, not quite.
Interested? Yes, quite interested.

Everytime I give a shit, shit is thrown back at my face.
Sorry for caring, sorry for wanting to be with you.

Girl, you got nothing to worry about, no need for weak comebacks. Whoever I am with, it doesn't matter, i'm always thinking of you. No evil thoughts corrupt this mind.
Jealousy takes over ALL, including yourself and myself.

I know the truth, these actions are not a result of jealousy, i assure you, believe it if you will.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


fatigue hangs heavy on the body,
weights dangling from the eyelids.

no sleep without help,
tossing and turning seems to be the latest trend.

caffeine, the enemy in this great war,
the mind stirs when it should slow.

the devils crop brings peace,
but reliance on evil brings no good.

stuck in this hole i question how to get out,
do i dig deeper or start the climb upwards?

do you see me? do you see the real me?
do you see me? do you see through me?

how could one love this,
it seems too good to be true.

i look for your hand, may i take it in mine?
can you help me out or am i trapped?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

i need you more than you know,
this love, honey, is not for show.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

count your blessings

time to reflect...
look at what you have and ask yourself what it is you want.
i couldn't ask for a better life,
amazing girl, great family, food, shelter, water, friends, love, car, health.

now what is it that you said was missing?

it's time to enjoy the little things, the building blocks of life.
forget about finding something you're missing, it's all right in front of you.
grasp it. don't let go. you're holding onto your life there boy.
it's all right in front of you.